Love is a Strong Word
by iRawrrSchmidt
Summary: Is Kendall able to protect Doll all the time? What happens if they fall in love with each other?
1. Building Up

Building Up (Chapter One)

"Hey! That is not cool dude, you cannot call me out like that!" Kendall yelled laughing wildly.

"It's true, admit it Kendall. You know being in denial for so long can lead to self-esteem problems." You winked at , him trying to hold back your own giggles.

"Just because I burnt the toast doesn't mean you are a better cook than I." He crossed his arms over his chest

"Actually Kendall, sorry but I am going with Doll on this." James said from the blue couch as he listened to me and Kendall argue about whom was the better cook. Kendall just sighed and shrugged walking off defeated. James and I let out a storm of laughter when he slammed his bedroom door shut.

"DID YOU SEE HIS FACE?" James exclaimed laughing even louder than before.

"Oh sheesh, he takes his cooking seriously. I should probably make sure he is not mad." I said sobering from the fits of laughter, James nodded.

A little bit about me; I'm Dahlia, pronounced doll-ya. And that is where I got my nickname Doll. Ever since the guys; James, Logan, Carlos, and Kendall started calling me that years ago it just stuck with me. Minnesota has been my home all my life, I never really knew anything else.

"Kendall don't be mad, we were just jok- oh my go- i'm so sorry." My stomach turned upside down as my face flushed a bright red color. I didn't know what to do so I just turned around. I finally realized I should probably shut the door and walk off like I never saw anything but Kendall's voice stopped me.

"It's cool Doll, I'm not mad... and stop being so uptight, don't act like you've never seen me naked before, you can come in." Kendall chuckled at me as if I were the one being bizarre. He was laying on his bed naked, and well... you can picture the rest.

"Uh Kendall you're ... and I... I'm going to go." I started to walk off but he grabbed my arm stopping me short. He now had boxers on which made me feel a little more comfortable.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked in a pleading way, I nodded knowing no wasn't even an option with Kendall. He's so stubborn a bull couldn't throw him off it's back if it wanted to. pulling my hand softly he lead me to his bed. I sat waiting for him on the soft silky covers that were the most familiar thing about this room to me. When he locked his door he walked back over to me carefully placing his hand on my lower back so I would stand up.

His soft fingers traced through my hair that laid straight on my shoulders.

"You're all I think about... When I touch myself, when I shower, when I watch TV... You're always there..." He whispered leaning closer to me. I looked into his green eyes that got me every time. He bucked his hips into mine making me shiver. You know that feeling you get when the world stops? Like literally nothing around you even matters anymore, just the sensation of the wild tingling in your belly. That's probably the only way to describe how I was feeling.

"Ke-Kendall... uh-" I started but was interrupted by him. I was pretty thankful though, I could see me saying something stupid and making everything awkward.

"I know you think about me too." He whispered so simply as if it were the easiest thing he's ever said. I didn't say anything, I didn't have to. His hands traveled slowly to my hips. He rested there for a second before looking at me asking for permission. I nodded, he lifted my shirt over my head tossing it on the floor. My stomach was churning, I was nervous. I broke into a cold sweat, something I've heard about but never really experienced till now. He went lower and lower to my jeans and-

BUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZ

* * *

Shooting out of my bed I slammed the alarm clock. I was standing there breathing hard in complete shock. Did I just have a dream about Kendall Schmidt? I ran my fingers through my hair that was now sweaty. This was also nothing new to me either... I had an odd dream about Kendall yesterday. It's not like I like him, I mean yeah he's attractive but... he's my best friend. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, but I just ignored it. _Nothing unusual_...

"Hello?" I answered my phone after it wouldn't stop ringing.

"Yo! Need a ride to school? James in ditching so you don't have to fight him for shotgun." Kendall laughed through the phone

"Yeah, um Adam actually offered to take me today. But thanks Ken I'll see you there." I said happily. It was true, Adam freaking Kosh offered to drive me to school today. He's been flirting with me a bit at school but never really hung around me much. I'm guessing it has something to do with Kendall and the guys. Kendall hates Adam, literally. I knew telling him Adam was taking me to school would set him off but... whatever I'm too happy for him to kill my buzz.

"My God, why would you ride with him? You know he just wants to get laid. Dude I say this because i love you, he's a douche bag that uses girls for sex, and its no different with you!" He said as his voice rose higher till it cracked.

"Thanks for the advice, dad, but I'll make my own decisions thank you." I held my smile confidently on my face.

"Doll... I just... I just don't want you to get hurt, and I know this dude..." He trailed off

"Stop worrying about me Kendall!" I snapped at him. I understand that he's just being a good friend but it annoys the shit out of me. "You are not my dad so it's not your job to worry about who I fucking choose to date. I'm not fucking the dude, and I'm not planning on it either. Just stop fucking worrying.." What I said was harsh, but only truthful. That's what he wanted to know, is if I gave him my virginity yet. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't beat around the bush for the sake of my feelings... I'm not 6 whither he like it or not.

"I know you're not Doll. I know you're better than that. And I really want it to stay that way.." He said softly making me feel bad for snapping at him.

"Listen Kendall, I need to get ready... I'll see you at school." I didn't give him the chance to say goodbye I just hung up.

After two cups of coffee and two hours of getting ready for school Adam was here. I pretty much prayed this wouldn't be awkward. Conversation always came easy with people for me... it's just the guys that I decided to have a crush on is when I freeze up and act shy. After a while I convinced myself to act confident. As he pulled up I casually walked to his car climbing in the passenger seat, in my head I was silently thanking God I didn't trip on a rock or something.

"Hey beautiful." He gleamed. God, he's perfect. Muscular, but not too much. Long brown hair and dark blue eyes. His tan was complimented by the bright orange shirt he was wearing, and of course white shorts with "mandals".

"Hi Adam" I replied with a confident smile

"You know I wish you'd have lunch with me." He laughed pulling out of my driveway and continued, "I mean I'd sit with you but Kendall freaks me out. Is that dude like your long lost brother or some shit?" He laughed

"Sometimes I honestly have to remind myself he's not. He just really cares, you know? We've know each other for so long it's just an instinct kind of thing i guess you could say."

"How adorbz!" Adam mocked me. We both laughed uncontrollably.

"Shut up" I playfully shoved him, "Seriously though, he's a good guy. Just not if you're on his bad side."

"Mmm well, I'm certainly glad I'm at least not on your bad side." He winked squeezing my thigh

"Hang out with me at school today." I more of stated it then asked him.

"I want to! But Kendall would probably kill me if he even saw me look at you." He laughed

"We don't have to hang out with Kendall too silly. I'll just sit with you at lunch instead." I smiled knowing Kendall would have a fit about this and Logan would probably be pretty pissed too. Carlos is too much of a happy and energetic person he wouldn't be too worried about it and James isn't here.

"Hmm deal." He beamed a smile pulling into a parking spot at the school, he turned off his car making it silent, "You know though I don't think I can go inside just yet."

"Uh... why?" I asked confused

"Well see, my lips are kind of dry and I don't have any chap stick on me right now." He winked, "But that cherry chap stick on yours would do just fine..."

"Smooth.." I whispered leaning closer to him meeting him halfway. After a moment of taking this moment in he finally grasped my lips with his. I could tell he knew what he was doing by the way his lips moved so perfectly with mine. His hand casually made it's way into my lap sliding his hand up my thigh. I would've normally been uncomfortable, but Adam just had that way of making me feel special. He somehow worked his tongue into my mouth without letting me notice at first. I got so lost into the moment I about lumped 10 feet in the air when my phone rang.

"Sorry" I whispered alluring from his grasp.

"Hey, see I'd love to watch you and your boyfriend make out all day but class is about to start." Kendall's voice boomed through the phone. I looked up and sure enough, Kendall and Logan are standing there.

"Oh my god you guys are-"

"Listen we need to talk to you so hurry." He hung up the phone adn just stood there. I wasn't looking in a mirror but I could already tell my face was flushed.

"This is so embarrassing. I'm really sorry Adam, they're assholes." I said apologetically, but he just put his hand up and smiled cheesily at me.

"No worries dude, you're a really good kisser by the way." He winked stepping out of the car. I waved him goodbye knowing Kendall wasn't gonna let me walk in the school with him.

"What is wrong with you?" Logan defied as soon as Adam was out of earshot

"What is wrong with me? What about you creepers who were watching me kiss someone!" I threw my hands in the hair.

"Sorry for saving your ass from that douche." Logan stuck out his tongue

"Where's Carlos? I like him better than both of you right now." I smirked

"He had to come early, absent assignments." Kendall replied being short

"Oh okay.." I said quietly, being cautious of Kendall's attitude. He clearly wasn't in a good mood today so I was just gonna back off.

"Hey Doll I need your opinion, would you rather go to a moth camp for three weeks or go to a hockey camp to four days?" Logan asked walking backwards infront of me

"Uh I don't know, why?"

"So there's this math camp that's supposed to look really good on my college application if I go, right? But there's also the four day hockey camp that me and the guys go to every year and this year it so happens to fall on the same week. Of course the guys say hockey but I want your opinion." Logan said breathlessly

"Well honestly Logan, you're a really smart kid already. You don't need some camp to get accepted into a college. Plus it's three weeks? What are you trying to kill yourself with Borden? Do something you actually want to do, hockey would be my choice." I smiled back at his expression which was pretty much blank. I could tell he was thinking about it all.

"You're right, I mean I shouldn't waste three weeks of my summer." Logan nodded falling beside me.

"Why are you being so quiet Kendall?" I asked almost annoyed by him being absent minded.

"I'm not, I just have nothing to say..." He said to me, he didn't even look me in the eye. "I gotta go to class." He turned, walking down the hall leaving Logan and I.

"What's up with him? Did I do something?" I asked Logan

"How am I supposed to know?" He looked at me distressed

"You're the smart one!"

"Well I think it has to do with Adam honestly..." He said slowly knowing he was kind of blaming it on me. Scoffing I parted away from him walking at a quicker pace to class.

Today was not my day. First of all Kendall got all pissy because I sat with Adam at lunch. I mean sometimes I could honestly slap him for being so controlling. He ignored me the rest of the day. Oh and my favorite part, in Foods we were able to choose partners and he ignored me picking someone he doesn't even like! At the end of the day when I tried to talk to him he just kept walking like I wasn't even there.

*Dude i'm really sorry I didn't get the chance to talk to you today. I mean Kendall kept snapping at me when I mentioned you and we don't have any classes so I didn't see you in the hall either! Don't be mad at me! -L

I smiled at the simple text Logan sent me. At least I still had him, well and of course Carlos and James.

*Don't even stress about it, I get it, Kendall and I will be cool by tomorrow. -D

I mean honestly though, will me and Kendall "be cool" tomorrow? I felt so confused yet worried too. Kendall is the most stubborn person I know, what if... what if he just forgets about me? What if our friendship is ended by something so stupid. Our parent's always joked about us growing up and getting married when we were kids, it made things awkward and we'd make "icky" faces at each other... But deep down, I felt myself wishing for it. I'm not sitting here trying to hint that I all the sudden wanna have his children and be in love forever and ever with him... hah, No, I just can't begin to imagine life with him.

*Meet me in our spot, 5 minutes! -D

As soon as I sent the text I bursted through my front door and head to out spot. When I was a little kid I let curiosity get the best of me and I walked thought he creepy woods behind my house. Yeah they looked dark, but it wasn't until you followed the path it was actually quite relaxing. Silent, and alone. Nobody knew about our spot and we made sure of it. It was something special to me and Kendall, actually so special that the guys don't know about it.

I sat down on a branch that was lying on the ground and absorbed my surroundings. It was getting dark but not quite yet. Trees were everywhere I looked, most girls would probably be creeped out by it but I found it to be meditating. From stress building up in me all the time I just don't know any other way to be relaxed. I gripped my stomach, I hated hunger pains but then again they were sometimes the only thing that felt real.

"You okay?" Kendall's voice cut through the moment

"Yeah, my stomach hurts a little, I'm fine though." I replied trying to sound casual, in all reality though... I was nerveous out of my mind.

"Listen, I know I was being an ass today and I'm sorry. Ashley called me..." He paused waiting for my reaction

My reaction? How could I even begin to explain this... That name, Ashley, it just made me shudder at the thought. Kendall's ex girlfriend was never my favorite but I kept my distance from her. They broke up about a month ago and Kendall and I haven't been this close since, well they didn't even know each other. When she came along and just ruined everything. Kendall claimed to love her and he followed her around like a sick puppy dog. He ignored the guys and me, and even worse he didn't even realize he was doing it. He was too caught up in their relationship. I didn't know why, but all I felt towards her was jealousy. It wasn't even like I didn't like her personality... It was just the fact that she had Kendall so easily?.

"Why?" I tried not to sound uneven but in the moment I couldn't even bring myself to look him in the eye.

"She wants to get back together. And I don't know I was just so stressed about what to do so it put me in a bad mood I guess. And then talking to you made me feel better until you mentioned Adam and I don't know. I shouldn't have tooken it out on you and I am honestly sorry from the bottom of my heart Doll." The look in his eyes was no question. I knew he was sorry.

I stood up walking over to him.

"It's okay Kendall... I have to go." I lied. I just didn't want him to see me cry. I hugged his giant frame compared to mine and started making my way through the thick rough trees that were once calming. I let the warm salty tears silently fall down my face when I knew he couldn't see me anymore.

Why am I always the one that gets fucked over? Why is it that I am nice to EVERYONE and I get nothing in return but shit. I am so fucking tired of being an insecure little bitch that can't even tell herself how she feels.

"Doll!" Kendall yelled running up behind me gripping my arm gently turning me towards him

"Are you crying? What's wrong?" Kendall sounded scared and out of breathe. He didn't wait for me to respond to him. He just clutched me close to his warm and inviting chest. I inhaled sharply taking in his familiar scent. It made me want to cry even more but I bottled it up and kept my sanity for the sake of humiliation.

"Doll, did I do something? What happened? Why are you crying?" Kendall asked at once almost overwhelming me

"No, you didn't do anything. Everything is okay, I'm fine, really." I said wiping my face putting on the old fake smile.

"Stop lying to me Doll! Why do you do this? You just bottle everything up inside and act like everything is roses and daisy's for you! Tell me what's wrong Doll, I care." He yelled but it slowly died down to more of a whine.

"I can't.." I simply whispered. I was no longer lying to him, I just wasn't going to let him in.

"Please, I-i-i can't sit here and watch you destroy yourself like this. You can tell me anything... I love you Doll, I care about you... and so do other people. I wanna help this time, just please let me in!" He begged me. I wanted to let him know how I felt... not only about him.

"It's not that easy Kendall! You don't know what it's like to have something eat away at you little by little everyday. To-to-to not even care if you even woke up the next morning! To have to force the same smile just so everyone isn't riding your ass asking "are you okay?" Because I'm not! Okay! I am NOT okay." I broke down there. Huffing and gasping for air while just crying as hard as possible might have been embarrassing normally but with Kendall embracing me it was honestly hard to care about anything.

"Look at me Doll, do not think I haven't gone a day without noticing you. I knew something was wrong, I just cant place my finger on it. Please, I want to help you." He whined, he looked like he was also on the verge of tears

I didn't say anything. He took this as an opportunity to drag me to his place. The walk was about 3 minutes but we didn't say anything to each other. He knew I didn't want to talk and that was my favorite thing about him. He just walked hugging me close to him comforting me.

"Mom, I'm in my room with Doll!" Kendall called from over the stairway still walking up with me. Of course his mom didn't care because for one; she loves me. And for two; she know me and Kendall are just friends.

"Okay sweetie!" She called back in the same sweet tone she always held onto.

As soon as he shut the door to his room, I felt anxiety build up inside me. Like a feeling consuming over me. Sitting on Kendall's bed helped me calm down.

"You can start explaining now." He said as if it were simple

"You wont understand." I mumbled loud enough for him to hear me. He didn't say anything, just more of got a sad look in his usually bright and happy green eyes. He got on his knees in front of me and grabbed my hands.

"I want to know. I really want to protect you. But-but you wont let me. How am I supposed to help if you wont let me in?" He rested his head on my lap. I didn't feel uncomfortable though, this was nothing compared to the way we always cuddled. We always did the most intamite things with each other but they meant nothing to us. Like we'd cuddle in bed and watch a movie but that was normal to us. So wasn't what was making me breathe so hard. It was the fact that I was going to have to explain to him what has been going on with me.

"Let me protect you." He whispered

I took a deep breathe, all of this was too much too fast. I didn't know how to tell him this. I was scared to death too...

"I have... I have an ED Kendall."

* * *

***OKAY, so I was planning on letting "the secret" out in the next chapter but I didn't want you you to think it was her confessing her love for Kendall. Stay tuned for the next chapter, maybe some intamite Kendoll moments? ;) Hmm we'll find out... Anyways please review!**


	2. Let me Protect you

Let me Protect you.. (Chapter Two)

**AUTHORS NOTE: Okay so in the ending there's a scene where Kendall and Doll dance, if you have no clue what dance i'm talking about here : .com/watch?v=ThT1HjoptIc , It's a REALLY good dance, pretty common too! :) Enjoy!**

* * *

"I have... I have an ED Kendall." I swallowed the lump that was rising in my throat. I didn't realize how hard it was to say this. It sounded so easy in my mind.

"What the hell are you talking about? What is an ED Doll?" Kendall snapped, but with his sad green eyes it just made me feel like scum.

"I don't know how to tell you this!" I yelled standing up now, "I don't eat..."

"Like an eating disorder?" He asked, his voice cracked.

"Not really though, I mean I don't know..." I whispered, ashamed. But then again, I felt like I weighed too much to even be considered to have and eating disorder.

"What do you mean you don't know Dahlia?" Fuck he used my full name, he never uses my full name... "D-do you think that you're.. that you're not skinny?" he asked me as if he was disgusted.

"I mean... I don't know." I lied. I knew the truth. Of course I didn't think I was skinny. It's like a desease almost, like you just look in the mirror and you're automatically disgusted with what you see. I knew I was skinner than most girls but it wasn't like i was sickly skinny. And I also knew that if I kept up with my eating habits I could be sickly skinny. But if I were being honest, I don't care.

"I can't believe you." He stated. He didn't yell, or scream. He just simply said it. I felt bad for him, I know he cares about me, probably more than I do myself.

"I'm sorry Kendall... I told you that you wouldn't understand." I mumbled, I didn't want him to hear it, I just need to say it. I sat on his bed once again and just buried my face with my hands.

He paced around his room angrily. He didn't say anything he just walked back and forth. I could tell he was deep in thought, so I didn't dare say anything. But the next thing he did suprised me tremendously. He walked over to me and just hugged me. He just simply took me in his arms and embraced me. It was nice though, it was the kind that lingered and made you feel light headed from all the emotion put into it.

"I love you, you know that?" He asked me, I nodded.

"Then why are you being so hard headed?" He asked me with a blank expression. I could no longer read his face. All I could see was him waiting for me to answer him. The problem was, I didn't have an answer.

"I-I-I don't know what to say Kenny, I just, I'm sorry.." I sounded so weak, so lost, pretty parenthetic in my ears.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" He asked, it was almost in a rushed kind of stern way.

"Yeah." The easiest question I had to answer all night. Kendall and I have had plenty of sleepovers so this is nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing really was for me and Kendall.

He walked over to where I was sitting on the bed grabbing my hands and pulling me into another hug. He held me there this time. And it wasn't one of those awkward whose-gonna-let-go-first kind of hug, it was just a caring-protective hug. He kissed my temple, making me shiver.

"I'm gonna take a shower, just go lay down, I'll be 10 minutes." He smiled with his tired green eyes that were usually bright, but now they seemed worn down and dim. It make my stomach twist knowing the pain I caused him.

"Okay." I didn't wanna hold a conversation, because honestly I was too worn down too. So I did as I was told and walked over to his bed. I removed my clothes and put on one of Kendalls large t-shirts. I laid down in his bed and closed my eyes, I wasn't near sleep though. My head was pounding so hard I wouldn't be suprised if I opened my eye's and saw someone hitting me with a hammer to the head. The fact that my stomach was aching didn't help either. I felt my eyes get heavy, and all my thoughts disappear, I was out.

However, about half an hour later I woke up to water dripping on me. Opening my eyes I saw Kendall reaching over me to grab something. He had boxers on but he was still soaking.

"Kendall, you're getting water all over me.." I croaked laughing a little, he was too adorable to be frustrated with.

"Oh sorry! I was trying to be quiet but I guess I should've dried off more." He smiled back at me.

He laid down beside me slowly grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him. Turning around I cuddled into his chest as if i were a puzzle piece that fit perfectly.

"Goodnight Doll.." He whispered hugging me closer to him. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep once again.

Since it was a Friday, I slept in. Kendall was up before I was and was already downstairs. I already knew his mom was a work leaving me and Kendall to the house alone.

"Good morning sleeping beauty! I make pancakes!" He smiled energetically.

"Actually, coffee is good enough." I tried to be casual hoping he wouldn't bring up my eating habits.

"Doll..." He said sternly never leaving my eyes.

"What? I'm just not hungry yet." I said shrugging

"And I don't care. You're not gonna get away with this bullshit with me." He said making a plate and putting it in front of me.

I tried my best not to groan really loud. I looked at the plate in front of me. So unhealthy. Had to be at least 500 calories. Ugh. It looked so good though. I haven't sat down and had an actual meal in God knows when. I picked up my fork and took a tiny bite. Kendall never stopped looking at me.

"Will you stop watching me eat? You're making everything awkward and creepy." I laughed taking another bite.

"Okay. Fair enough, I already ate so I guess I'm done here." he smiled attempting to walk off. I quickly stood up blocking his path.

"Hah! Yeah uh no, you are not leaving that huge mess for your poor mom to clean up. Turn your butt around and clean." I smiled

"Gosh who are you? You're starting to sound like my mom. It's creepy, please stop." He joked turning around heading back for the kitchen.

"Just wipe everything down, I'll do the dishes." I said hopping up from the table when I got finished. 30 minutes and nothing was cleaned but one measuring cup.

"THANK YOU!" he quickly turned around reaching for a rag.

After he quickly wiped down the mess he made he bolted before I could even attempt to ask for help. Kendall has always been that way though, just a sloppy kid. Gotta love him though. He may be unorganized but he has a large enough heart for you not to care.

* * *

The rest of the day we just sorta hung out, something we haven't done in a while. The best part was just sitting on his bed with him and telling him everything. Everything I've been keeping inside from the world, and he just listened. The feeling of letting everything off my chest was like a tingling sensation and feeling lighter, literally. It felt good to not have all of the burden weighing down on me.

"You know, we haven't done this in forever." Kendall said after we got done talking, which was hours.

"I know, I'm glad we did, it felt good." I laughed at how cliche it sounded, but he nodded understanding.

"When we were younger I had the world's biggest crush on you." He said

"HAH! What? I was so... unattractive... I mean like.. ew." I laughed again

"Hahahaha no I mean, I don't know. I've always thought you were pretty, and I loved how easy it was to accept you into me and the guys "circle"" He smiled

"I know, it was kind of weird for me too though. Like before I met you guys I never really ever talked to guys. Not as friends or anything, but I guess it makes sense because I was like, what? five maybe? " I laughed, he nodded.

"Dude it's like midnight and we've been inside ALL DAY. Let's go do something!" He jumped up pulling me with him.

"Where are we gonna go? It's 12:50 AM!" I giggled as he pulled me out of him room.

"Let's go clubbing!" He ran outside, me following him.

"No drinking though, meaning NO fake id." I warned him

"Okay, we can just dance then." He smiled letting go of my arm and jumping in his car. I shook my head holding back the laughter. He's crazy.

* * *

"This is crazy Kendall! I haven't line danced in forever!" I yelled over the music.

Of course Kendall dragged me to a country line dancing club. When I turned 18 this is where I first learned to line dance, it was over a year ago but secretly I never forgot. He just smiled at me pulling me into the crowd. Ironically "Fake I.D." was playing, thank God Kendall listened to me. (Dance I was referring at the top: .com/watch?v=ThT1HjoptIc WATCH!)

"You're a great dancer! Come on!" He yelled pulling me into the crowd.

We danced like crazy, and we didn't forget a thing about the dance. We haven't been to a country line dancing club since I was 18. I guess we just forgot how much fun it was. Kendall was right, I am a great dancer, I've taken ballet wince I was 5. But Kendall, he was natural, he just knew how to dance. The guys made fun of him for it, but I've always thought it was sexy, in a non-weird best friend way I guess you could say.

It was always fun to dance with Kendall. He was just the type of person to have fun and not give a shit. He pulled me further into the crowd when a slow song came on. He put his hands gently around my waist and of course I wrapped my arms around his neck. We just swayed back and forth not saying anything.

It just kind of happened I guess you could say. It was an in the moment kind of thing when he leaned down and kissed me. He lips worked with mine perfectly as I gripped his blonde hair softly. I felt light headed when he pulled back, probably because I forgot to breathe. Something about the kiss felt right though, I just couldn't place my finger on it. Things between us didn't get awkward after either. I just smiled at him as we kept swaying to the music.

* * *

***Please review! :) **


	3. Is This Even Real?

Is This Even Real?

I jumped out of bed happier than ever. Something about today just made me want to scream and dance. Maybe it had to do with Kendall kissing me last night. After that we went home….. And made out some more! My God that boy knows how to kiss a girl. I mean we haven't made anything official or anything but we definitely have feeling for each other. Or at least I do, towards him.

'Be ready in an hour, were gonna chillax today with Logan and Carlos today, K-dawg is busy' –J

As soon as I got the message I jumped in the shower. Should I tell them about what happened with Kendall? Will they get weirded out or get mad? Would Kendall even want me to tell them? I just decided that it would probably be better if I didn't say anything and see how it plays out.

Once I got out of the shower I didn't feel like get all dolled up. I put foundation and mascara. While I was waiting for my hair to dry so I could straighten it I looked for a summer dress. I ended up finding a short but flowy yellow dress. The hems were white and the dress fit my figure perfectly. Honestly I have no clue why I forgot about this thing. Maybe it was too small last year? I just ended up pairing it with sparkling heels so the outfit had a little pizazz.

JAMES P.O.V

As soon as I pulled up to Doll's house she ran out to the car. Of course she looked beautiful, that's nothing new, but it was kind of weird that Carlos whistled at her. I mean he's supposed to be the innocent one, maybe he was just joking?

"Are we gonna confront her about what Kendall told us?" Logan asked

"Yeah, we kind of have to, were her bestfriends!" I said to Logan, Carlos nodded in agreement

She casually got in the passenger seat and said Hi to all of us. She looked at us weird because we weren't saying anything. We weren't saying anything because we wanted to see if she would mention it to us anyways. I mean she couldn't actually keep a secret like that from us.

"Uh, so how was last night?" Logan emphasized "last night"

"What do you mean?" She asked slowly, she wasn't getting at what he was trying to say. I decided to butt in.

"Oh cut the bullshit, we all know you and Kendall made out! What the hell? Were supposed to like be friends, remember no drama!"

"Chill chill chill, it was nothing! I swear me and Kendall aren't even dating. Besides how do you guys even know what happened?"

"He called like right after you left. He talked about feeling all happy and not being able to sleep. It was quite gruesome if you ask me." Logan stuck his tongue out at her, I agreed.

YOUR P.O.V.

"Well it isn't going to cause any drama in this friendship. Me and Kendall's relationship is non-ya's business." I smirked turning around to face the road in front of me.

I could feel them all staring at me but I didn't say anything because in all honesty I wanted the conversation to be over. He drove us to the beach and we all hung out for a while.

We were playing football when Kendall finally decided to show up. As James threw the ball to me I caught it stumbling back a bit. I bumped into someone, I was gonna turn around and say sorry but they wrapped their arms around me and kissed my head.

"Kendall?" I asked hoping to God it was Kendall, for all I know it could be some creepy dude trying to get it in.

"No, it's Channing Tatum." He said in a husky voice. I smiled turning around to hug him.

"Well Channing would be a much happier welcome than you." I winked showing I was joking.

"HEY COULD YOU TWO LOVE BIRDS TOSS THE BALL BACK?" James called out. I giggled tossing the ball back over to them.

I know sounds weird right, a girl playing football and being actually pretty good at it? Well I grew up around all boys so I wasn't afraid to catch a ball or get a little dirt on my knees. If you saw me you'd probably think the exact opposite, but hey I think it's a good quality to actually have a personality. I'm proud of the person I am today, sometimes at least.

"Hmm, I'll believe it when I see it." He smiled; he grabbed the back of my neck and leaned down placing a lingering kiss on my lips. Wow, didn't see that one coming.

"That wasn't a very good kiss." I lied, winking at him hoping he'd follow along.

"Let me see if I can get it right this time" He captured my lips with his, this time kissing me a lot rougher. His tongue licked the tips of my lips asking for entrance, I parted them slightly letting his tongue explore my mouth. Just the feeling of being so close to him makes me shiver. I don't think the kiss would've ever stopped if it weren't for James throwing the football in between us. Thank god it bounced off of Kendall's chest because if that thing would've hit me in the face James would have hell to pay.

"What the fuck dude?" Kendall yelled throwing his arms in the air

"Sorry, I miss my boyfriend, wanna talk?" He winked at Kendall, I about died of laughter. James is so stupid, but I love the kid.

"Are you guys together?" Logan plainly asked

"What? No…." Kendall answered him. I had to admit, that was a stab to the heart. I shrugged it off, if we are just dating then I guess that's okay, better than nothing I guess.

"Then what's up with all this kissy-kissy stuff?" Logan asked pursing his lips mocking us, Kendall chuckled but I was still kind of hurt.

"I'm sorry; I'm not allowed to kiss the girl I'm dating?" Kendall furrowed his eyebrows together

"Don't hurt her or we will all kick your ass. I mean it Kendall." James said flexing his arms, I went over and hugged him. Even though he was making jokes he was still being protective over me and I'm grateful for that.

"Trust me, I would never. Adam would though, why didn't he get the lecture?" He pouted

"Because we all knew I wasn't gonna last, No offense Doll, and they also weren't bestfriends." Carlos smiled

"Wow, did you actually just say something smart?" Logan looked at Carlos like he had 3 heads

"Ha ha ha very funny asshole" Carlos threw some sand at him turning into a huge wrestling match for them. Somehow James got involved in it too, I don't even know. But at least it meant me and Kendall had time to get away from them to be alone.

"You wanna come over tonight? I mean I'm not doing anything tomorrow so we could just chillax." Kendall kicked a stick in front of time

You both decided to walk down the beach for a little while. The sun was just setting so everything was orange and yellow. Kendall's hands were tucked into his pockets, which made me kind of sad. I left my arm dangling by my side awkwardly hoping he'd grab it but with no luck.

"Yeah, wanna ditch the beach? I mean I really do not wanna be bombarded with question from the guys." I laughed

"You're so evil," he smirked, "I love it." He grabbed my hand and ran up the beach with me.

"I'm parked beside James car, hurry!" He laughed

We both hopped in his car laughing hysterically. They're gonna be so pissed off at us for leaving them.

"Hey I got an idea!" Kendall said out of nowhere,

"Okay what's the plan?" I asked but he shook his head and pretended like he was zipping his lips

"For all I know you're taking me somewhere in the woods and are going to hold me hostage in a creepy dungon you have built underground that you torture me in." He laughed and shook his head

"Yeah because you know me so well that you would know I'd do that. Such a smart girl!" said sarcastically, I giggled punching his shoulder. My tiny fist compared to his giant arms didn't do anything even if I tried.

"Just go pack clothes and your little bikinis that you girls wear and whatever essentials you'll need for a week." He smiled as if he were proud of himself.

He dropped me off at my house and said he'll pick me up in the morning around 7AM. He's crazy, I swear. I texted Logan and asked if Kendall mentioned anything to him. He said the guys are going but they're not allowed to tell me where or what we're doing.

I ended up packing a bunch of summer dresses, shorts and tank tops, and of course "My little bikinis at you girls wear". All of my makeup and hair stuff were packed on the sides of my shoulder bag. Everything else was just stuffed into the bag lazily. I'm not a dirty person, but I'm definitely not the most organized person you'll ever meet in your life.

I went to sleep with a lot of things on my mind. Does Kendall actually have feeling for me? Where is he taking me? Why is it some sort of last minute surprise? This is all over whelming; I wish he didn't make me ditzy every time I see him. Something about him gave me the biggest butterflies.


	4. You Cant Have Your Cake and eat it too

Chapter 4

You Cant Have Your Cake and eat it too

**So i know It's been a while since I've updated, SORRY, I promise the next chapter will be up sooooo much sooner. I really hope you guys like this chapter! The next one might have a little bit of mature scenes ;)**

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I tied my hair up into a pony tail looking straight ahead at the long never ending road ahead of us. Kendall was driving and the other guys where all passed out in the back of the car. It's been silent for a good 30 minutes, I was hoping Kendall would say something about where we were going but he non-surprisingly refused to.

"You look good" Kendall smiled looking at me. Even though I knew it was just a way to start a conversation it still gave me butterflies like crazy.

"Thank you Kendall, I could say the same to you but I don't like you right now." I smiled

"That's not true" He grinned nudging my shoulder, It wasn't, I honestly liked the mystery of not knowing where we were going.

"You sound pretty confident there" I smirked at him, gosh he's so attractive.

"If I kissed you right now you would kiss me back, that's how I know." He leaned over closer to me, with his eyes never leaving the road ahead.

"I wouldn't be so sure" I kept staring into his eyes that we glued to the road until know. The car was stopped at a red light and he was now staring back at me, watching me slowly melt from those bright green eyes.

"No?" He asked, moving closer

I was honestly at a loss for words, I couldn't say anything. The only thing I could do was nod and try and act like he wasn't making me nervous. His face got closer to mine as his lips slowly brushed against mine. I brushed his blonde hair behind his ear letting my lips slowly lean into his…

"Nope" I moved back giving him a sly smile before he could kiss me.

"So not cool" He said looking back at the road, I laughed out loud, "You're a tease"

I just winked at him before I leaned against the window resting my heavy eyes.

"Were here!" Kendall said loudly making me jump out of my seat. We were at a hotel, was this the whole surprise? Kind of weird, I guess I'll go with it though.

"So, this is it huh?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"No silly, were stopping here for a night we still have a long drive ahead."

I almost sighed in relief, I guess I'm just not into the whole motel, hotel thing.

"So do you want me to wake the guys up?" I asked

"No, stay right there, I'm going to go check in and get the room key." He smiled, I awkwardly leaned against the car until he got back.

"Hey" I smiled

"Follow me"

I didn't say anything, I just looked at him weird. I grabbed his hand as he led me to the room we were in. It was weird being so intimate with Kendall, he's never really intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Come here" he whispered opening the hotel door, I walked into the eerie dark room. I turned around to close the door, Kendalls large hands secured my small waist.

"I cant stop thinking about you" he whispered, I was now facing him. It was hard to see his expression but I could tell by the tone of his voice he was impatient. I stood there, dumbfounded by what he just said to me. I literally felt like a deer in headlights, not sure if I should make a move or not.

His lips crushed against mine so suddenly it made me stumble backwards some. He held on to my back stopping me from falling over. My stomach was doing backflips, my head wouldn't stop spinning, and my legs felt like jello. What the hell is Kendall thinking? What the hell am I thinking?

He laid down on top of me in the large bed that smelled like fresh sheets. He removed his shirt then slowly unbuttoned my top letting my dress fall onto the floor.

Kendall kissed down my breasts, further down my stomach until I almost screamed from the teasing. I was breathing so hard I couldn't see straight. He slowly pulled down my panti…

"WERREEEEE HEEEEEERRRRRRA!" Kendall shouted making me jump.

"Holy shit Kendall, please say that a little louder I don't think the people in India heard you clearly." I said annoyed

"Looks like someone's grumpy" Logan laughed

"No I just don't enjoy being woken up by screaming" I rolled my eyes at him

"I think shes just mad that you woke her up period, sounded like you were having a pretty good dream there doll." James winked

"You sound stupid, I didn't even have a dream. Therefore I have no clue what you're talking about." I said trying to keep my face from flushing. Holy shit if they heard me sleep talk…. Or sleep moan.

"You were breathing pretty hard." Kendall nodded in agreement

"Shut up you guys are annoying" I got out of the car walking to the back of it to grab my bag.

"Are you okay?" Kendall asked coming out of nowhere

"Leave me alone" I was mad, but I wasn't sure why. I mean yeah the guys were acting pretty annoying but I wasn't actually pissed off because of it.

"Why are you mad? Did I do something?" Kendall asked, his face kind of twisted

"No, I'm just not in a good mood. I'm sorry." I sighed feeling bad for taking my anger out on them. He didn't say anything, he just smiled and pulled me in for a hug.

"That's why you should just ask for hug, I mean we all know it makes you feel 20x's better when you hug the Kendall Schmidt."

I rolled my eyes even though I wasn't annoyed anymore, I also didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing he can out me in a good mood.

"Period?" He raised his thick eyebrows

"Kendall!" I squeaked, hitting his shoulder.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry just asking!" He laughed pulling me in for a hug again

"So do you like it?" He asked holding my waist, kind of intimate for Kendall and me but honestly I enjoyed it.

I looked up at the big lake house in front of me, it looked like a giant cabin with a lake behind it. It actually looked pretty nice though.

"Woah this looks nice, who's is it?" I asked

"My uncles, he said we could stay the weekend, pretty cool huh?"

"Smells good!" James yelled running down the stairs into the kitchen

"I'M SO HUNGRY" Carlos stormed into the kitchen, I laughed at their expressions almost like a kid in a candy shop.

"Where's Logan?" James stood up with a puzzled look on his face scanning the room. Carlos shrugged not caring, he just kept staring at the food.

"I'm not worried about it I'm just ready to eat" Kendall picked up the plates with food piled on them carrying to the dining table.

Of course the guys had huge plates of food sitting in front of them by the time they got everything. I was the last to go, honestly I didn't want to eat the sight of so much food just made me wanna get sick.

I decided to grab a couple things and just pick at them so Kendall doesn't get mad.

"So what are we planning to do this weekend?" James asked with a big grin, God if I could only see the things going through his mind right now.

"Logan wanted to go Jet Skiing with me tomorrow" I said trying to avoid the food in front of me at all costs.

"Alone?" Kendall asked suddenly, the air kind of stood still making things awkward.

"Uh yeah, but I mean you guys can come. It's not something special or anything…" I said surprised at his reaction

"We need to throw a huge party" James said excitedly ignoring the tension between Kendall and I.

"Hell yeah!" Carlos beamed

Kendall just kept his eyes locked on me, I tried to avoid actually looking at him so I just stared at my hands sitting in my lap.

"I'm not hungry" I got up quickly taking my plate to empty it

I made it to the kitchen before Kendall caught up to me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Uh am I not allowed to go do something with Logan?" I laughed sarcastically

"You know that's not what im talking about…." He said in low voice

"Im not hungry, I'll eat later" I said about to put my plate in the sink.

"Seriously? What the fuck Doll, I thought this shit was done. I cant believe you, I seriously cant believe that you think what you are doing is healthy." He raised his voice obviously not caring I the other guys heard.

"Shut up Kendall, shut up. You don't know anything so just stop trying to act like what you're doing right now is gonna help me." I slammed the plate into the sink making it shatter, I didn't care I just walked away stomping upstairs to my guest room.

A whole new kind of sadness washed over me making the tears spill out of my eyes even faster. I don't remember the last time I cried this hard, or if I ever had. It was one thing for someone to judge me about MY problems, but for it to be Kendall just made it worse. Kendall was my everything, my crush, my person to relax with, my shoulder to cry on, well not now atleast, and mostly my bestfriend. Kendall's never yelled at me so harshly, especially knowing the guys probably heard the whole fight.

A light tapping came from the other side of the door, I don't think I would've been able to hear it if it weren't for it being completely silent in the house. Nobody has said anything, or even moved I think.

I unlocked the door but I didn't open it in case it was Kendall. I walked back over to the bed burying myself in the big fluffy white covers.

"Doll?" A soft voice said

I didn't reply.

"Babe, what happened? Are you crying? What's wrong?"

As soon as I knew it was Logan I sat up from under the covers ad hugged him only causing me to cry harder.

He just sat there next to me running his hand up and down my back. The best part about it all was that he didn't say anything, he just held me and let me cry. After a while I finished crying but honestly felt like I could still cry if it were possible.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked

I shook my head. "Honestly, I have a pounding headache, Kendall hates me, and everyone in this house is gonna question me on what just happened so no I am not okay, I'm horrible in fact."

"I'm sorry, do you not wanna talk about it?" he asked gently

"Kendall is such an asshole." I replied not caring if he told Kendall everything I said.

"He can be" Logan laughed

"No seriously, I mean you tell someone your deepest secret and he just thinks he can make everything better? On top of that he just wants to make me feel like shit even worse than I already do? Fuck him, im so done with everything."

"I don't know what youre talking about, and yes, I know you don't wanna talk about it so im not gonna ask. But don't be so mad at him, he has good intentions you know? The kid seriously loves you, youre all he talks about, don't just throw it away over a silly fight."

"Will you stay in here with me tonight? I don't wanna be alone after what just happened, I don't wanna have to walk downstairs tomorrow alone and explain everything with nobody to back me up." I asked

"Of course" He smiled as if I just asked the silliest question ever, maybe I did because technically I didn't have to ask him, he would've stayed with me in a heartbeat knowing the kind of person he is.

I laid down with him under the covers snuggling my way into his chest, for a smart kid he sure is packing something. He wrapped an arm around me pulling me as close as possible to him.

"I love you, Logan." I whispered

"I love you more than you know." He laughed closing his eyes and falling asleep with me.


End file.
